The lovely OneFifthFox has very kindly given me this award and it made my day! Her brave blog is one I found when we were both trying to conceive and though shortly afterwards, I was lucky enough to get the good news, the road for her has not been so easy. After another miscarriage, she is still sharing her life and giving the most amazing encouragement which in the circumstances mustn’t be easy.
I am meant to pay this on and since this is my tumblr blog, I will link to the other tumblr blogs I love to read and give them this award (in no particular order!):
After a rather emotional week last week, this week has been much better, no doubt helped by the fact that we agreed a sale on our house last Friday. You can read more about the house drama here. The progress on the house has meant that I can finally start to focus my attention back on the really important life-changing event of having a baby (as opposed to the less important but still life-changing event of moving house).
Baby Girl is still a little wriggler and sometimes I worry that she is moving so much: Am I hurting her? Should I change position to make her more comfortable? It’s not going to be much longer that she will be able to move as much as she can. I am, not aware of me getting any bigger at the moment - I don’t feel any different to how I was a couple of weeks ago andyet she must have grown a lot. That said, normal t-shirts and tops are almost impossible to wear now so I suppose something must be happening.
I have come to dread going to bed because night-times are pretty miserable. I suffer almost every night from restless legs which drives me insane. I also still find it hard to drop off to sleep lying on my side. But I am still getting more sleep than I will be when Baby Girl arrives so I suppose I should be grateful (try telling me that at 1am tonight. Go on, I dare you!).
On Sunday, we dropped by H&M (or Hennes if you are old like me!) so I could grab a couple more maternity tops and my heart did a little flip when I looked over to the baby clothes section to see ricardo browsing the Hello Kitty onesies.
There have been 3 babies born to 3 sets of friends in the past week or so which has really got me excited yet the fact that I too will have a baby in a couple of months just seems like a distant and abstract notion. November has never felt further away!
This week has been a funny old week. I think the hormones are back and bringing me down which has meant a few tears and a lot of feeling glum. The most annoying thing is that deep down, I know there is nothing to be glum about but for the past couple of days, the most innocuous of things will set me off and once the floodgates have opened, it takes a little while to get them closed again. Tipping my Chinese takeaway dinner on the floor may not seem like the worst tragedy in the world but the ensuing torrent lasted quite some time (while poor ricardo had to rescue my sweet and sour chicken and clean the rug).
I think that the uncertainty with our house sale / move is probably starting to take its toll too. Another house on our development went on the market for the same price as ours despite it being bigger and it made us feel quite despondent. We have taken action by reducing our price slightly. If we get no offers or second viewings in the next couple of weeks, we will likely take it off the market.
During last night’s meltdown, I realised that although a large proportion of how I was feeling was irrational, part of it stemmed from my overdeveloped planning streak. I am frustrated by the fact that there are all these things that I want to get ready for the big arrival yet we are faced with roadblocks: the lack of movement with the house means the nursery is still not ready; having to work means I can’t be at home organising/crafting/shopping; my sewing machine breaking down means I can’t crack on with Baby Girl’s quilt… Add that to the general discomfort and lack of sleep (thank you, heartburn, restless legs and cramps) and I think I am starting to get impatient for November to roll around. This all sounds rather doom and gloom which is, frankly, ridiculous because I couldn’t be happier to be making this baby inside me (INSIDE ME!).
This feels like a milestone even though the ‘10 weeks to go’ is really just a fallacy. As I get nearer, I realise how much I wish I knew the date of arrival for sure (although perhaps that would be just as scary but just in a different way). The not knowing makes the planner in me wince. I already am thinking about my hospital bag and what I will pack even though I still have over two months to go. I have been getting advice from friends and I have even bought a new bag. So pretty:
One way to help distract me from the need to plan and learn is keeping a journal but this is a journal with a difference.
It is a collection of letters to Baby Girl that I started in May. Here is the first note I wrote. It’s quite sentimental but you can blame that on the hormones (and on the fact that I am a soppy mare).
So far, I have written once a month and I plan on continuing this well after she arrives so that I can give her a special gift one day, years from now. In fact, today, I will write another note…
I am watching Supernanny (both the UK and US versions) pretty compulsively lately. Some thoughts:
Jo Frost is a goddess.
It is scary how intelligent people can seem to make such basic mistakes.
I am flabbergasted that a mother can quite happily explain that the reason her five year old twins are still having a bottle and in nappies at night is because she doesn’t want to have to deal with it because she works too hard. There are a lot of very hard-working mothers out there who manage to avoid hindering their children’s development despite having a tough work schedule.
Watching this show makes me quite judgemental which is bound to bite me on the ass HARD when Baby Girl arrives. Knowing this does not stop me from judging.
Decent common sense seems to be the most important weapon a parent can have.
Consistency is the second most important.
I am so very unprepared for parenthood, despite watching shows and reading books. Oh lordy.
Although I blog fairly regularly over at all five horizons, I really wanted to set up a new blog which was completely dedicated to the upcoming arrival of Baby Girl. At this stage, I don’t know if I will maintain both blogs but at the moment, this is all I really want to blog about and my regular readers may get bored very quickly.